Won’t You Be My Neighbor?Saying Goodbye

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?  A series exploring what it means to create community in Deer Park, or wherever you are.

Our kids usually go to bed at 7pm and it was already 8:30pm. We’ve trained them to be flexible, but we were almost as tired as they were. Why were we all still up? Our guests wouldn’t leave.

Have you ever had that happen? Where your family’s schedule is just different from another family’s? Or were the subtle hints you gave a bit too subtle?

So over the years we finally developed the perfect signal. It works nearly every time, is polite, and is unmistakable. Oh sure, it can still take people awhile to gather their things and actually make it out the door, but there’s a simple, two-step process to begin saying goodbye.

Step 1: Stand up

Step 2: Say, “Well, thanks for coming over!”

Or you could reverse those steps if standing up suddenly would be too awkward.

How Does That Work?

Here’s what you’re causing to happen when you do these two steps.

First, we all have an instinctive need to mirror someone’s body language. When you smile, they smile. When they laugh, you laugh. When you stand up, they stand up. And just by their body making a big movement, they’ll begin to ask internal questions like, “What time is it?” and “What are we doing next?”

Second, the mirror principle also applies to words. When you say, “Thanks for coming over!” their most likely response will be, “Thanks for having us!” and those two sentences said in that order are a pretty obvious signal that it’s time to go. I usually add the “Well…” to the beginning of my sentence to make it a bit more gentle.

Stand up and say, “Well, thanks for coming over!”

Caleb Stapp

One Big Don’t

If you’re the guest in someone’s home, there’s one thing I would caution you not to say. You’ll want to, but don’t. My wife and I hear it almost every time someone has been our guest, and while the sentiment is wonderful, there is so rarely any follow through that it is somewhat irritating to hear it. Ready?

Don’t say, “this was so great – we’ll have to invite you guys over next time!” If you mean that, then pull out your schedule and pick a day. Or wait until you get home, discuss it, and then give them a text or call a few days later. But what may feel right in the moment often just sets up expectations that lead to disappointment.

Last month we discussed the first ten minutes of welcoming someone to your home, and now you know the two steps we take to ease people out the door. I just have one more thing to say:
“Well, thanks for reading!” 🙂

Join the conversation by sharing your neighboring stories or asking your hospitality questions at facebook.com/DeerParkGazette with #neighboring. Won’t you be my neighbor?

Featured Sponsor
Thank You For Your Support!

Related Articles

Watch: Downtown Stakeholders Meeting

A group of local business owners and residents joined an open conversation about restoring vibrance to the downtown area of Deer Park. The discussion was led by a Community Development Specialist from Retail Strategies.

Read More »

Cloverleaf’s Vintage Tea Fundraiser

Join the Cloverleaf family for an elegant vintage tea room experience. Experience a variety of deeply flavored teas, classic cucumber sandwiches, and a vintage pearl and jewelry sale. It is sure to be a wonderful afternoon of tea and merriment.

Read More »

GreenHouse Food Bank Faces Shortage

The GreenHouse Food Bank in Deer Park announced a critical resource shortage and suspended one of its weekly services. There is currently a significant need for community support to meet rising demand.

Read More »

Care-a-Van At Rural Resources Community Health Event

Care-a-Van Mobile Health Services will be at the Rural Resources Community Action Community Health Event in Deer Park, offering a range of vaccinations. The event aims to provide accessible healthcare services to the community and promote public health and well-being.

Read More »

Share this!

Featured Sponsor
Thank You For Your Support!

Share this!

Featured Sponsor
Thank You For Your Support!

Read more news.

City Council Summary July 7th, 2021

Deer Park’s first in-person city council meeting since the COVID-19 shutdowns commenced on June 7th. Spokane County Sheriff was appointed as the chief law enforcement of Deer Park by a unanimous vote.

Read More »

In-Depth Coverage of City Council Bans Fireworks

After the smoke cleared at the City Council Special Emergency Meeting, the resolution passed to ban all firework activities. The main reason stated was the concern over the public threat of a fire emergency. The Deer Park Gazette takes a more in-depth look at why the decision was made and the thoughts of those involved.

Read More »

Subscribe to our emails

Use the form below to sign up to receive news via email at no cost to you.

Read & Support The

Local news to keep you informed and entertained. The Deer Park Gazette is locally owned and operated. When you support the Deer Park Gazette, you support local writers and photographers.